I was stopped by a Lolly Pop Traffic Control Person. Then he flipped his sign to SLOW, then immediately back to STOP. He continued to do the Lolly Pop Flip-Flop looking in every direction. A big dump truck rumbled through the intersection as I inched forward in clutch-grinding confusion. The Lolly Pop Person was doing his best with the wrong Lolly Pop. What he needed was a STOP/STOP Lolly Pop like the one our school-crossing supervisor has.
When I pick up the kids from school I choose to park up the road and walk the kilometer or so to school. Like most schools, pick up time is very busy, leaving parents with three options. Arrive at least one hour early to secure a park and get some extra screen time in. Join the queue for the pick up only lane, put the car in park and get some extra screen time in. Or, if you choose option three like me, park up the road and walk. The safe way to cross the road is at the zebra crossing where the school-crossing supervisor does not suffer from STOP/SLOW indecision.
Supervisor is a strong word, but maybe not quite strong enough. Supervisor feels like someone who is just there to keep an eye on things, to correct anyone out of step, but to let things flow. School Crossing Commander suits my experience better. The control begins well before she steps onto the road. It is entirely her call as to when she should stop the traffic. We are all her court in waiting, and audience to her laments as cars crawl by with drivers giving the “I’m waving to make myself feel better about ignoring you” thank you wave.
She wears a bright flouro yellow outfit and her whistle is sharp and even louder than the uniform. I don’t believe that the whistle is really necessary. We are all waiting for her move out onto the middle of the road and put her Lolly Pop handle on the ground. She has our complete attention. A softly spoken, “OK” to accompany a slight nod of the head would make it clear to us that it’s safe to cross.
If a sound other than her voice is required, I would prefer some crossing music. The STOP/STOP Lolly Pop could be updated to a cube that reads STOP/STRUT. When the cars stop, the pedestrians strut. The new shape would allow for a sound system inside the Lolly Pop that activates when the handle hits the ground: “You can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk…” The Icecream Vendors Association got around copyright laws for Greensleeves and I’m confident that the School Crossing Supervisor’s Commander in Chief could organise some strutting music.
